This week was all about marriage and dating relationships. One of our discussions really hit me hard in a sense that I realized how many aspects there are to love. There are 4 kinds of love:

Agape: a not feeling based and intentional love for someone

Storge (store-gay): is the parent to child love 

Eros: is romantic/sexual/passionate love

Phillia: is a close, friendly, brotherly love

I realized that in a sense you need all four of these in your relationship with your spouse when you marry. You have to care for them as a human being, you have to want to help them in times of need, you need that physical attraction, and you need to be close friends where you communicate everything and have a deep trust. 

            Another thing is that dating has changed So much! Dating used to be that you wanted to get to know someone better, not be boyfriend/girlfriend. In today’s world, if you go on a date you are attracted to someone and are expecting a relationship. But that's not it at all. We should date for fun, date a variety of people, it’s a time for you to grow and learn yourself. Then courtship, yeah it sounds old school but it’s an important part in the road to marriage. "Courting" or exclusively dating is a "trial" or a time for you to see if there is a potential for marriage. Engagement comes next. During your engagement, it’s a time for you and your fiancé to prepare for the wedding and for your marriage. The two are often seen as the same but are in reality very different. You have a wedding where everyone celebrates, but your marriage is between you and your spouse and God. During to process you learn together, different from dating where you learn for yourself. Together you learn to work together as a couple, how to communicate, how to problem solve, and how to make decisions together. In todays world people go from dating to cohabitating to sometimes getting married and then most divorce. Cohabitation is not a good idea. People rationalize that you get to know someone better that way, but in reality, studies have shown that people who cohabitate are more likely to divorce or separate. Marriage is a huge decision, that shouldn't be made carelessly. But you should make the decision based on if you love, care, and want to not only based on attraction and if you like living with them. 

This weeks discussion was quite controversial. We discussed homosexuality and gender roles. Some of the things that really stuck out to me during our discussions were that there have been so many studies done in association to homosexuality and the family, and just homosexuality lives in general. But there are people out there that think the studies shouldn't be done and shouldn't exist because they want people to think and accept that homosexuals were just "born that way". But that's not it at all. Some girls are more masculine, and they are considered "Tom Boys", and some boys are more feminine, but people automatically categorize them as a homosexual. Why do we judge men that are more feminine but not women? Think about it. How many times do we see more feminine men and think, they must be gay? But when we see a masculine girl, we don't think that first. We shouldn't be deciding and telling those men that they are gay or homosexual. Just like "Tom Boys" there are men that are straight but have feminine personality traits. If those men are told over and over that they are gay, then eventually they may believe it. And one statement that my instructor mentioned was that "for every gay couple there are two women in the world that will never experience motherhood or marriage." So if there are men out there that are feminine or are struggling with same sex attraction but don't want it, we should help them and not judge them because of the way they talk, walk, act, or look. Everyone is different and that's how Heavenly Father intended it to be.

This week we focused a lot on culture in the family. These two questions were brought to our attention:

Are all cultures equal in terms of being right and wrong, good and bad? 

Do we have the right to proclaim one set of values to be better than another?

I think every culture has things to add to the world around it. Each culture has a long heritage that goes back, some longer than others. In our society today many people have neglected their culture or haven’t thought much about their background. So when we talk about culture being valuable and valid, in some ways they aren’t because people don’t see them as significant. But there are some people that consider their culture their life. And for them, it is one of the most valuable and valid things.

                  I don’t think we have the right to proclaim one set of values to be better than another. In our ever-changing world, each individual has their own opinion of their values. Everyone was brought up differently and has been taught different ideas of values. For example, Mormons have their own belief system of not cohabiting before marriage, and the word of wisdom, and our dress standards. But, Hindu people have the belief that all animals with a split hoof are sacred, so they don’t eat those animal meats. Each culture and religion or even lifestyles have different values. And we are in no place to proclaim that some are better than others. We can express our opinion all we want, and we can share our opinions with others, but it’s not our right to tell someone that ours is better than theirs. We all have different backgrounds and we have all been brought up differently.

What is your opinion on the matter?

                  

So I've really thought a lot about what we studied and discussed this week in class. One of the main points that I'd like to get your opinion on is, if there is a family issue or communication problem going on in the family, is bringing in a third party, for example going to a family therapist necessary? In my opinion, the family should try to work together to solve the issue at hand, and if they just can't seem to work things out then a third party is the best choice. Sometimes you need that third person to point out the bigger picture because we get so caught up in the little things in life, that sometimes we fight over the most ridiculous things. Solving the problem may take time, but it can really help to have a third person there, even if it's just to act as a mediator.